my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone
Yesterday my friend and I were walking out of Forever 21 and the wind blew my skirt up a little. I had shorts on underneath (for this very reason) but two guys in a parked car saw it happen and yelled at me to lift it more, I yelled back, “fuck you!” and they laughed. So I took my pocket knife out of my bag and said, “I will slash your fucking tires” and they did not laugh
How to get into college in 1983: get good grades
How to get into college in 2013: get good grades, speak six languages, be a rocket scientist, and end world hunger
How to pay for college 1983: Work part time and summers. Maybe take out minimal loans.
How to pay for college 2013: Which of your organs is the most valuable?
What to do with your degree in 1983: work in your field
What to do with your degree in 2013: cry
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.